Who Am I as a Communicator?

I had one of my home-visitors complete the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale (Rubin, Rubin, Graham, Perse, & Seibold, 2009) and the Communication Anxiety Inventory (Rubin, Palmgreen, & Sypher,  2009).  Both of our scoring was pretty much the same on both the scale and inventory.  In Communication Anxiety I scored mild and on the Verbal Aggressive Scale I was significant.  Kim stated that the Verbal Aggressive that it was hard to complete because she knows that I am not aggressive at work but I have my personal thoughts that I will share in confidence when alone.  I am not aggressive unless it is something that I strongly stand for but rarely cross the line in a professional environment.  The scale states that “with little provocation you might cross the line” and “involves personal attacks” (Laureate Education, n.d.).  This is not accurate to me by any means therefore I don’t agree with the rating scale and neither did Kim.  Now outside of work I am very blunt and very honest but I still never attack anyone. 

One of the major insights I gained this week was from reading the discussion post.  I am shocked that many colleagues stated that they don’t make judgments and were unable to answer the questions about the ladies picture.  We all have personal schema's and perceptions based upon looking at a person. O’Hair and Wiemann (2012) illustrate this with the example of the outward appearance of Susan Boyle in her audition of Britain’s Got Talent.  The audience and the judges facial features changed after she began to sing and they were enlightened with joy from her performance (O’Hair and Wiemann, 2012).    I feel it is ok to admit we have these schema's and judgments of others.  If we fail to admit them then we lack the ability to self-reflect upon our actions.  It is really just human nature.  We look at someone, we make-up schema’s, and we make judgments based upon our initial observations.

Mindlessness with my position was my other insight.  Often times I am just on auto-pilot when completing certain tasks and with my communication when in certain situations.  I just tune out and am passively answering questions especially if it’s a question I know that someone else should know (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012).  I know I do that at home as well with my daughter.  I tend to not focus and just nod my head or give some kind of non-verbal response. 

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures II: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

Communication and Culture

In early childhood education we as professionals are looking to serve children and families.  I believe the Platinum Rule should be number one when we think about our communication strategies with families.  It serves for us to think of how the family or parent will feel with each statement.  Its makes them the true focus of our work.  

I have gained insight that it’s very valuable to do a continued self–reflection on our bias and communication skills so that we don’t have cultural myopia when working children and families from other cultures.  “Individuals who fail to consider other cultural perspectives are said to suffer from cultural myopia, a form of nearsightedness grounded in the belief that one’s own culture is appropriate and relevant in all situations and to all people” (O’Hair, Wiemann, 2012, p. 45). 

Communication accommodation theory suggests that all people adapt their behavior to others to some extent.  Those who adapt to others appropriately and sensitively are more likely to experience more positive communication" (Beebe, Beebe & Redmond, 2011, p. 112). With working with a varied diverse group of children and families we need to learn how to be adaptive in our communication skills.  Being aware of non-verbal communication, body language, facial expression can assist us with knowing if a family is understanding what is being communicated or if they are frustrated.  We can adjust our tones, slow down our speech and allow for processing time.  

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. . New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Communication Skills

I watched the show American Crime that airs on ABC on Thursday nights (Ridley, 2015).

In the beginning of the episode a man is awaken by a phone call what appears to be in the middle of the night because he was in bed and the room was dark.  When the camera displayed his face after hanging up the phone the man appeared to be distraught.  The next scene is at the airport and is greeted by several police officers.  They take him to what looks like a morgue and he is viewing something from behind the glass.  He then goes in to a bathroom and is breaking down.  He is crying.  His body is lunging over in a fetal-like position while clutching his hands to his head.

Second scene is occurring at a club. A girl goes into the bathroom in which she gets attacked by another girl.  Her body is on the floor in a fetal-like position as the other woman is kicking and punching her.  She appears in pain and you can witness the blood on her head and her face.  A man walks into the bathroom and finds her all beat up.  He takes he what I assume is home and is bathing her gently.  She is smiling and he is washing off the blood and her hair.  Next scene they look like they are desperately looking around their place for something while arguing.  They look like they are drug addicts.  After arguing the man takes the woman and hugs her.  The wall in the bedroom is covered in pictures of different bi-racial couples that display happiness. 

I had assumed that the man was viewing a body.  It turns out he was viewing the body of his son that had been murdered.  He was showing anguish after viewing the body.  His body language was imperative of the sounds he was making with his body language.  Later in the show he told his ex-wife that their son had been murdered and she displayed her emotions in a very different manner.  She was more astounded and disconcerted (O’Hair & Dixon, 2011).  Her verbal communication was firm and she wanted answers from the police versus allowing herself to grieve. 

The second scene I was correct by being presumptuous and stereotyping this couple as being drug addicts.  They were looking around their room for a bag of drugs that had been stolen at the club were the girl was attacked.  What you could see was that the man with his physical actions did display both empathy and sympathy while caring for her in the bathtub and after the argument that they had.  He sat with her gently while in the background you could see the pictures that are a vision of how they would like their lives to be. 

I believe if I continue to watch this series that I would be more correct in my assumptions of what is going to happen based upon being able to identify more with the characters.  You attain a sense of how their personalities are in the initial episode and how they display their feelings through their body language.  Once watching the episode with the volume turned on you can put the body language together with their communication styles.

O'Hair, D., Friedrich, G. W., & Dixon, L. D. (2011). Strategic communication in business and the professions. Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Ridley, J. (Writer). (2015).  Episode One [Television series episode].  Mc Donald, M. & Ridley, J., American Crime,  Austin, Texas: ABC Studios

Effective Communication

When I first read the assignment the first person that came to mind was Trent Shelton.  I read his post throughout the week and I share them on Facebook.  They are inspiring for just about anyone.  He does video post most of the time on Facebook.  I share them because there are so many individuals going through issues silently and simply need someone, anyone to let them know its going to be OK. Many times the messages I think have been made to help me get through a particular bad day.  He's words are REAL and the issues he discusses in his videos are real.  His communication style is heartfelt. He discusses relationships and what they are to give us.

I have worked with many families and often times we have to change the way we communicate to suit their needs.  Trent is compassionate and it is heard in his tone and the words he utilizes.  I would like to inspire hope in the families lives that I enter.  I hope to leave with them feeling respected, heard, valued and touched by presence.  Although I have not met Trent, I have been touched by the reality statements that he makes.  It is my belief that he was place on earth to save someone's life.

This was a post this week that I shared on Facebook.